Beckett's Rules of Discipline 5: Beckett's Reward
Title: Beckett's Rules of Discipline V: Beckett's Reward

Author: Taylor Dancinghands -taylor@willendorphians.com

Characters: Beckett/Zelenka/McKay

Category: slash, h/c, BDSM

Rating: 'PG-17'

Archive: Generally yes, but please let me know where

Summary: Rodney's just had a really bad day, and Radek thinks he hasn't done enough to help his fellow sub, but both of them have forgotten just how tough it's been for Dom... until later, when they determine to make it up to him, and of course, Carson knows just what he'd like.

Spoilers/Season: Season 2: "Grace Under Pressure"

Author's notes: This is the fifth, and probably last story in a series of episode based stories, where Carson and Radek, and then eventually Rodney are in a BDSM relationship. They will follow the series, and run in sequence, but each should also mostly stand alone.

Betas: Thanks, as usual, to my faithful Beta ankhmutes for taking time in her truly busy life, to help me out with my spelling errors, and validating my characterizations.

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, never will, not claiming to. Just wanna play with 'em a little. Can't I, can't I, huh?




Language/pronunciation notes: For some reason it's become important to me that y'all know how some of the words Radek is saying *sound*. In particular, the word 'pane' -which means 'sir'- has two syllables and is pronounced (more or less) pan-eh. Proper native speakers, please feel free to jump in and comment.


Beckett's Rules of Discipline V:

Beckett's Reward

by Taylor Dancinghands


It had been a long day, and Carson was bone tired when he finally returned to his quarters. Two days ago he'd endured the terror of learning that one of his lovers had crashed into the sea in a puddle jumper, and only a few hours later he'd had to watch the other risk his life to go after him. As too often happened, Carson had been left to wait and watch and be ready to put them back together when they came home… if they came home, if he could.

The unique circumstances of this disaster had meant that even when they had returned, and they had, thank heavens, he was able only to give instructions on how Sheppard and Radek could deliver first aid for Rodney's concussion and hypothermia, for the three of them had needed to remain locked in the slowly depressurizing jumper for most of another day. Having his lovers so close and hurting, but being unable to even touch them, was nothing short of torture for the doctor, and he'd slept not a wink since Rodney's jumper had gone down in the first place.

Three hours ago, he'd finally been able to let them out, to send Radek and Sheppard home to get some rest in their own beds, and to treat Rodney properly. Several scans and much labor and fussing later, Carson was finally satisfied that Rodney had received the treatment he needed and had him settled down for the night. Now, at last, he could go home and get some rest, to finally hold Radek in his arms, rejoicing in the fact that both his lovers were home and safe.

It was with bewildered dismay, then, that Carson returned to find that Radek was not sleeping soundly in their bed, as he ought to be, but sitting up on the sofa, waiting anxiously. He stood abruptly as Carson entered, and Carson could see that he'd showered and changed into a tee shirt and sweats, but seemed in no way prepared to retire. Carson felt his heart sink as he saw the deeply troubled look on his lover's face, and knew that this long, wretched day was not over yet.

"Radek?" he asked as the door closed behind him. "Why aren't you in bed, lad?"

Radek's fingers pulled at each other in a gesture Carson knew signaled deep distress. "I… I am sorry, Carson," he managed finally, staring down at where his fingers worked. "I know… you must be terribly tired and… I am sorry to ask this of you now… but I cannot sleep; I cannot rest at all. I need… forgive me, pane, but I must be punished."

"Punished?" Carson asked, furrowing his brows in perplexity. "Whatever for, lad?"

Radek could not meet his eyes as he little more than whispered his answer to Carson's question. "For… for cowardice."

"What?" Carson asked in utter bewilderment. "Radek, what in the blazes are you talking about?"

"I…" he began unhappily, "I was the one who should have gone out in that jumper, not Rodney," he confessed wretchedly. "I was the one who did repair work, and I was the one who should have done test flight, but I.. I was afraid…"

Radek's voice wavered for a moment and Carson's heart went out to his lover, as sure as he was that Radek was being far harder on himself than was fair.

"I asked him…" Radek went on miserably," to take flight for me, and he didn't even hesitate. He told me not to worry…."

"These things happen, love," Carson said gently, leading Radek back to the sofa to sit beside him. "Ye couldn't know that things would go so wrong."

"Is more than that," Radek answered, shaking his head. "When time came for me to help… when I was asked to do something more than sit around in the lab, I… I tried to find… excuse… foolish excuse…"

Carson tried to lay his arm over Radek's shoulders, to pull him close, but the man shrunk away, too wrapped up in self-recrimination to take any comfort. "All that matters is that you did go in the end, love," Carson said. "That's what's important."

Radek shook his head, drawing away to sit at the far end of the couch. "No," he said, "I should not have hesitated; should not have had to be… reminded… that I am the one he must rely upon, that there is no one else. When we finally found him… I have never felt so ashamed."

Drawing a heavy sigh, Carson looked sorrowfully over at his lover, understanding dawning slowly. When Rodney was afraid he turned it outwards, resulting in the familiar hostility and anger he expressed during stressful times. Radek had turned the terrible fear he had endured inward instead, faulting himself when he hadn't done anything wrong at all. Carson knew it wouldn't be right to punish him when he'd only been brave and frightened, though convincing Radek of this would be no easy task.

"I'm sorry love," Carson said with a sigh, "but I can't punish you for this."

Radek looked up sharply, his eyes wide with dismay. "Please, pane," he begged. "You promised… whenever I needed it!"

"Aye, I did," said Carson standing to cross his arms over his chest. "But you don't need me to validate your guilt feelings when you've done no wrong. Ye've been nothing but brave and brilliant and I won't punish you for that."

Radek looked stricken as he plead once more. "Please, Carson. You don't understand…"

"I think I do love, maybe more than you, but I doubt you'll hear it from me," Carson said sadly. "I'll give you this, though. If there's anyone you've wronged, then it's Rodney, and if he says you need to be punished, then I'll reconsider."

"Ano, pane," said Radek in a small voice.

Carson stood with a sigh, feeling badly for Radek, but more than a little annoyed for his own sake as it appeared that he was not going to get the pleasant snuggle with his lover that he had been looking forward to. Glancing back at Radek where he sat miserably hunched on the sofa, Carson shook his head and then did the one thing he knew that might shake the man out of his morass of guilt and self pity, though it was not kind.

"Well I'm off to shower and to bed then," he said dismissively, "as I'm downright knackered from a bloody long couple of days where I thought I might never see the two people I care for the most in the world again." Glancing back at Radek again, Carson saw him looking shaken and thought to himself, good. "But if you're not able to sleep, I suggest you go and sit up with Rodney in the infirmary. He'll be awake in a few hours and will most certainly want someone to talk to, and maybe he'll tell you what you want to hear, though I doubt it."

"Ano, pane," Radek murmured, and slipped away, dejected and chastened. Carson's heart ached to see the man suffering so, especially after he had been so brave, but he knew Radek would take no comfort from anything he had to say tonight. Rodney, Carson was fairly certain, would have a much better chance of setting him straight. He, on the other hand, really did need his sleep. The bed felt too large and empty as Carson fell into it at last, but he truly was very tired and, comforted by the knowledge that his lovers were safe and well, even if they weren't with him, sleep claimed him soon enough.

****

Ordinarily, Carson didn't hold with eavesdropping on his patients' private conversations, but this conversation was between his two lovers, and he figured he was entitled to listen in, to this one in particular, at least. Restored by a full night's sleep, Carson had slipped into the infirmary unannounced this morning, to see how his lovers were faring, and now stood just outside the doorway to the ward where Rodney was situated, to listen to what Radek had to say to him.

"…do not think they will let you have any coffee," Radek was saying as he came close enough to pick up on their conversation. "But there is some fruit juice here for you."

Carson smiled to hear Rodney's grumbled complaints as he drank the juice, then stilled when he spoke to Radek again. "What are you doing here anyway," he asked. "Shouldn't you be sleeping in our nice, comfy bed with Carson?"

Carson could hear Radek shift on the chair where he sat at Rodney's bedside, and it was a while before he responded.

"I could not sleep," he said, almost too quietly for Carson to hear.

There was a pause, long enough, Carson imagined, for Rodney to give Radek a perplexed stare. "Why the hell not?" he asked. "We're all back and safe. You could be sleeping in a real bed at last, with Carson, I might reiterate. Is there something you're not telling me here?"

There was another short spell of silence. "Why…" Radek managed at last, his voice troubled, "why are you not angry with me?"

Carson could not see Rodney's face, but he could well imagine his puzzled frown in the silence that followed. "Why should I be angry with you?" he asked eventually.

"Because it was my fault that you were in the jumper that crashed," Radek answered. "If I had not begged you to take my place then you never would have had to endure any of this. I should have been in that jumper, not you."

"And that would have been better, how?" Rodney countered. Carson cheered silently from where he stood and listened.

"You surely would have found jumper more quickly than I," Radek insisted, "and when time came to go with Colonel Sheppard on rescue mission, you would not… would not have tried to excuse yourself from going where you were needed." It was painful to Carson to hear the contempt Radek held for himself as he spoke, and he listened carefully to hear what Rodney would say to this.

"*How* long have you known me?" Rodney asked archly. "Radek, have you *ever* seen me go on a dangerous mission without complaining about it? What's important is that you went, in the end. Believe me, that's all I care about."

"Sheppard did not even hesitate," Radek replied, not heeding a word of Rodney's assurances, "while I stood and whined about not being able to swim. I… I have never been so ashamed…"

"Oh, for pity's sake," Rodney snapped. "If you hesitated to go on a rescue mission with Sheppard its because you have half a brain in your head. The man's reckless and foolhardy; it's what we expect from him. From you, on the other hand, I expect level a level head and intelligence and, may I point out, you did not disappoint in that regard. You were the one who thought of extending the shield around the jumpers, weren't you? I know Sheppard had some insane idea involving grapples that never would have worked, but you, you had the idea that actually saved my life."

Come on Radek, Carson urged silently, willing the man to hear Rodney's seldom offered praise, but Radek and Rodney were matched for stubbornness, which Carson supposed he knew all along.

"It seems to me," insisted Radek, "that the only thing you can reliably expect from me is cowardice."

The silence that followed was taught.

"Is that what you think you are?" Rodney asked, incredulously. "A coward? You *were* there, right? That wasn't another delusion of mine, was it?"

"No… no," Radek murmured, "I was there. But only because Sheppard nearly had to order me, and Dr. Weir had to remind me of something I never, never should have needed reminding of."

"He didn't, did he?" Rodney asked with a tinge of outrage.

"What?" Radek replied.

"Sheppard," answered Rodney. "He didn't order you to go, did he? Because he has absolutely *no* business ordering any of my people to do anything, and he knows that."

"No, Rodney," Radek said tiredly. "He didn't order me. Dr. Weir would not have let him, but that's not the point…"

"No," said Rodney brusquely, "it's not. The point is that if you were a really coward you would have gone back on the Daedalus after the siege; you would never signed up for Carson's ATA gene therapy, would never gone offworld to pull my ass out of that dart, would never have come with me to Doranda… hell, you never would never have come to Atlantis in the first place. So let's bag the coward talk, okay? 'Cause it's pissing me off."

There was moment of chastened silence, and then, "I… alright," from Radek. "Carson did not seem to think so either."

"You tried that crap out on Carson?" Rodney asked.

"Yes," said Radek with a resigned sigh.

"So that's why you were here all night?" Rodney inquired.

"It is," Radek replied, his voice thick with regret.

"Man, we both have some *serious* making up to do," Rodney commented.

"We do," Radek said woefully.

The silence that followed was deeply contemplative, as only two silently contemplating geniuses can make it, and then Rodney spoke.

"But hey," he said, "you know It'll be fun, too. Wanna hear my idea?"

And with that, Carson turned and quietly stole away. He had heard enough.


*****


I couldn't be a complete surprise, because they'd had to tell Carson that they would be providing tonight's dinner, so he was sure to know that something was up. Still, there was plenty of surprise mixed with the delight on Carson's face when he came home from work to find a particularly nice meal laid out on the table and his two subs, shirtless, collared and kneeling in front of the sofa, waiting patiently for him.

The joyful light in his Dom's eyes did much to lighten the burden of guilt and shame that had lain in Radek's heart for the past few days, in spite of what his lovers had insisted. It was not, Radek saw now, punishment that he had needed, but a night spent in obedient service, freed from the burden of his responsibilities. He had a feeling that such an evening would do Carson some good as well.

They both turned to face him as he sat between them on the sofa, Radek bending his head to kiss Carson's knee as Rodney laid his head against his thigh. Carson laid a hand on each of their heads, caressing them fondly.

"I believe I must be the luckiest Dom in two galaxies," Carson sighed happily, then bent to take first Rodney, then Radek in a tender and affectionate kiss. Radek did not mind being second in the least, because that meant that he got to watch Rodney and Carson first. It was such a rare thing to see Rodney's face relaxed and open as it was when he was kissing Carson, revealing the fragile beauty there. The worry etched lines on Carson's face slowly disappeared as the kiss deepened, and his eyes grew dark and desirous.

The whimpers of need Radek had struggled to lock in his throat broke free when Carson's mouth finally claimed his, and then he had to struggle no more for Carson was in control. Strong fingers grasped the back of his head, forcing him to submit to the kiss and Radek surrendered happily, his whimpers transforming into a contented sigh.

"I am… sorry about last night," Radek murmured when the kiss ended, but Carson's easy forgiveness could be seen in his affectionate smile, and felt in the fingers that combed through his hair.

"That's all past, lad," he said, "and this… this is lovely."

"Its been, well," said Rodney, "a… bad couple of days, for everyone, and we thought we'd… try to make it up to you?"

"I can see ye've gone all out," said Carson, glancing over the nicely laid table, complete with candles and a small vase of flowers, "and I can't tell ye what it means to me. I can say that I'm more than a wee bit peckish though, and the food smells lovely. Shall we have some dinner then, lads?"

They dined on a hearty stew of mixed Athosian and Earth vegetables and local game, complimented by a loaf of fresh, crusty bread, still warm from the ovens, which had cost Rodney and Radek some significant favors to procure. It was all worth it, though, to see Carson enjoying the meal and so touched by their efforts. They'd all been hungry and the stew was every bit as good as it smelled, so the meal had begun in silence as they ate, punctuated only by the occasional hum of gustatory satisfaction.

Comments about the quality of the food and the skills of those who had prepared the meal came as their eating slowed to a more relaxed pace. This evolved into light conversation about the events of the day, but nothing was said about the last few, nor about puddle jumpers, nor about the dangers and close scrapes that had become part of their daily lives here on Atlantis.

Their conversation trailed off again as everyone's concentration turned to swabbing up the last traces of the stew from their respective bowls with the last of the bread, but when this was accomplished it was Carson who glanced up at his two subs for a long moment and then said, "I take it I'm looking at dessert, then?"

"Ah, mostly," said Rodney. "There is, um, a little… embellishment, sitting on top of the coffee maker, though."

Radek's sister had never much understood what her brother did for a living, and she was, naturally, not privy to his current location, but she did know that he was living far from home, and she did understand that sweets from home are always welcome, and that chocolate ships well. Radek got a box packed with a dizzying variety from his sister every birthday, name day and Christmas, and these were worth their weight in gold on Atlantis.

They bought favors, settled feuds, paid off bets and consistently added a little thrill to poker night, but Radek always made sure he kept a few of the best for himself, and one of these –a large bar of fine Belgian milk chocolate- he had placed on top of the coffee maker as dinner started so that it would be just one degree short of chocolate pudding by the time the meal ended. The expression on Carson's face as he brought the partially unwrapped bar back to the table told him that he'd gotten the timing just right.

The two subs watched as Carson dipped one finger into one of the half-melted squares and then licked away the chocolate smeared on it, while his expression took on a thoughtful, slightly diabolical cast.

"Aye," he said with a scheming smile, "this will make a perfect addition to what I've got planned for this evening. Ye'll need to have the rest of your clothes off, of course, but first I'd like you to take your chairs and set them right over there."

The straight, wooden, ladder-backed chairs that Carson had commissioned from an Athosian woodworker a few months after the three of them had come together, were a handsome and tasteful addition to his dinning area, but that wasn't the only reason he'd had them made. Radek and Rodney had both learned how strong and sturdy they were, and how easy is was to cuff or tie them in a number of ways to those chairs. He had never asked them to use two before, however.

He'd also never taken such care in how they were placed before, either, but now he had Rodney and Radek set the chairs facing each other, a little over one meter apart, lined up with marks on the floor he'd apparently made some time earlier. He then had them divest themselves of the rest of their clothes and sit, while he removed his own shirt and then went to get the toy box. Radek wasn't exactly surprised to find Carson cuffing his hands behind his back, securing them to one of the rungs on the chair back, but he remained quite curious, as he watched Rodney being secured in the same manner, as to what Carson had in mind.

Rodney fussed at being restrained. He always did at the start, though by the end he was always enjoying himself immensely. Tonight, however, Carson seemed to have less patience for it.

"Radek, lad," he said, "would you be so kind as to remind Rodney what the rules are when you're wearing your collars?"

Radek gave a little smirk, pleased that he had been allowed to keep his glasses on this evening, for he loved watching the various expressions moving over Rodney's mobile face. "Rodney," he said, "I think our Dom wishes for there to be less complaining."

"No complaining at all, thank you," said Carson primly. "Those are the rules you agreed to, aye?"

"Well yes, but…" Rodney answered, tugging unhappily at his bindings.

"Rodney," Carson said warningly, "you do remember the nice new gag I showed you last week? I've a feeling that you're going to be the first to wear it, and tonight may very well be the night."

Radek almost had to laugh at how wide Rodney's eyes got, and he could see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "Right," Rodney murmured. "No more complaints."

Carson chuckled merrily as he stepped around behind Radek to rummage in the toy box once more. He'd set it on the floor right behind Radek's chair so that neither he nor Rodney could see what Carson was about until he stood and stepped out between them. This time when he did, Radek could see that he was holding the bungee flogger.

At the beginning of their relationship Carson had needed to make a lot of their toys from items he could find on Atlantis, that no one would miss, and this one was one of the most ingenious. He taken a 20 centimeter bungee cord, removed the metal hooks on each end, and then unraveled the thread wrapping around two thirds of its length. The other third he'd wrapped in duct tape to make a stiff, secure handle. At the core of the unwrapped length of bungee were countless black rubber strands, and these made a delicious flogger which could deliver anything from a tantalizingly mild sting, to a viciously painful one, depending on how and where it was applied.

Radek and Rodney both watched with rapt attention as Carson stood back, glancing from one to the other, probably deciding who to start with. Radek knew he would be content either way, but the suspense was still making his heart race. Rodney looked as though he were about to have a stroke. Perhaps that was why Carson strolled casually over to him first, looking Rodney up and down as he combed his fingers through the flogger's strands.


*****

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